If you’ve ever struggled with self doubt, you’re not alone. Honestly, I think it’s one of the most common experiences we share as human beings. That little voice inside your head that whispers things like:
- “What if you’re not good enough?”
- “What if you fail?”
- “Why would anyone listen to you?”
I’ve heard those words in my own mind more times than I can count.
For a long time, I thought something was wrong with me because of it. Everyone else seemed so confident, so sure of themselves, and there I was, hesitating, questioning, and second-guessing every move. But over the years, I’ve learned that self doubt isn’t a sign of weakness. In fact, it often shows up when we’re about to grow.
That realization changed everything for me.
In this post, I want to share not just generic advice, but my real experiences with self doubt and the practical tools I’ve used to build confidence and stay motivated even when my inner critic is screaming the loudest. My hope is that by the end, you’ll feel like you’re having coffee with a friend who’s been in the trenches and made it out stronger, and that you’ll leave with strategies you can put into practice today.
Table of Contents
My Battle with Self Doubt
I’ll never forget walking into my first “big” job after college. I had worked so hard to get there, but the moment I sat at my desk, the wave of self doubt hit. Everyone seemed more experienced, more polished, more deserving.
I found myself overthinking everything, re-reading emails ten times before hitting send, staying late to double-check work that was already fine, avoiding speaking up in meetings because I was sure my ideas weren’t good enough.
Looking back now, I realize my colleagues weren’t scrutinizing me at all. They were busy focusing on their own jobs. The harsh critic was me, and only me. My self doubt was holding me back far more than any actual mistake ever did.
That was my first wake-up call: the biggest battles often happen inside our own heads.
Why We Struggle with Self Doubt
Before we can fight self doubt, we have to understand why it shows up. I’ve seen it in myself, in friends, and even in highly accomplished people I’ve coached. Here are the most common reasons:
- Comparison trap – Social media makes it almost impossible not to compare. I’d scroll through and think, “They’re doing so much better than me.”
- Fear of failure – Our brains are wired to protect us from risks, but sometimes they protect us too much.
- Perfectionism – I’ve wasted hours obsessing over tiny details, convincing myself I wasn’t ready to share my work yet.
- Past criticism – Maybe a parent, teacher, or boss planted the seed of doubt years ago, and it’s still taking up space in our minds.
- Uncertainty – Any time we’re doing something new, our brains crave safety, and doubt feels like a way to “protect” us.
The truth? Self doubt isn’t the enemy, it’s a signal. It usually means you care deeply about what you’re doing, and you’re stepping outside your comfort zone.
How I Started Fighting Back
There wasn’t a single moment when I “ended” self doubt forever. Instead, it’s been a slow layering of habits, mindset shifts, and experiences that built my confidence over time.
Here are the strategies that have worked for me:
1. Notice the Doubt Without Becoming It
I used to believe every thought my brain gave me. If it said, “You’re not ready,” I’d listen. But now I pause and ask: Is this thought true, or is this just self doubt speaking?
That small shift- from being my thoughts to observing them- gave me space to choose a different response.
2. Keep Receipts of Success
One of the best things I’ve ever done is keep a “confidence folder.” I save screenshots of kind emails, compliments, testimonials, or even just moments where I surprised myself.
On days when self doubt is loud, I go back and remind myself of the evidence. It’s like building a legal case against my inner critic.
3. Break the Mountain into Pebbles
Huge goals used to crush me. I’d think, “I’ll never be able to do this,” and then procrastinate. Now, I break everything down.
When I wrote my first e-book, instead of focusing on 30,000 words, I set a goal of writing just one page per day. Slowly but surely, the book got finished. Every small win chipped away at my doubt.
4. Say It Out Loud
This was hard for me at first, but admitting to someone else, “Hey, I’m dealing with some self doubt right now,” actually made me feel stronger.
A friend once told me, “If you weren’t capable, you wouldn’t even be worried about failing.” That reframe stuck with me. It’s often the people who care most who feel the most doubt.
5. Redefine Failure
For years, I treated failure like the ultimate enemy. But the more I tried things, the more I realized failure is just feedback.
Every time I “failed,” I learned something that made me better. The only real failure is not trying at all because of self doubt.
Launching Scared
When I launched my first skills workshop for my job, I was terrified. My self doubt was shouting:
- “No one will sign up.”
- “You’re not an expert.”
- “People will think this is silly.”
Instead of waiting until I felt ready (spoiler: I never would have), I put it out there anyway. I told myself, “If only two people sign up, I’ll still show up 100% for them.”
To my surprise, twenty people registered. The workshop was messy at times, but it was also powerful. Some of those people later became clients, and I gained confidence I never would have built if I’d let self doubt win.
Daily Habits That Keep Me Confident
Confidence isn’t built in one big leap, it’s built in daily choices. Here are the habits that have helped me most:
- Morning mindset reset – I spend five minutes journaling or writing affirmations like, “I am capable.”
- Movement – Exercise clears my head. Even a short walk makes me feel stronger.
- Lifelong learning – Reading or listening to podcasts builds my knowledge, which quiets doubt.
- Celebrating small wins – I don’t wait for the “big success.” I celebrate sending the email, finishing the draft, or making the call.
- Limiting comparisons – I unfollow accounts that make me feel “less than.” Out of sight, out of mind.
When Self Doubt Creeps Back
Here’s the truth: self doubt never fully disappears. Even now, when I’ve spoken at conferences or launched projects I’m proud of, I still feel it before I hit “publish” or step on stage.
But instead of letting it stop me, I treat it as a signal. Doubt means I’m growing. If I’m not feeling at least a little nervous, I’m probably not stretching myself enough.
One trick I use is asking: “What’s the worst that could happen?” Usually, the answer is not nearly as scary as my brain makes it seem.
A Few Extra Tricks I Rely On
- Visualization – I picture myself succeeding. It sounds cheesy, but it works.
- Anchoring back to “why” – When I remember why I’m doing something, it’s easier to push past fear.
- Borrowing confidence – Sometimes I think about a version of myself five years from now and ask, “What would she do?”
A Story That Still Motivates Me
Years ago, I watched a friend audition for a role she desperately wanted. She was shaking, her voice cracked, and I knew she was battling serious self doubt. She didn’t get the role. But she told me afterward, “At least I tried. I would rather fail than always wonder.” That stuck with me. It reminded me that courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s taking action anyway.
Choosing Confidence Over Doubt
If there’s one thing I want you to remember, it’s this: you don’t have to wait until you feel confident to take action. In fact, the action itself is what creates confidence.
Every time you show up, even when self doubt is whispering in your ear, you build evidence that you’re capable. And that evidence stacks up, day by day, until one day you look back and realize you’ve become the confident version of yourself you once envied.
So the next time doubt tries to hold you back, pause. Breathe. Remind yourself:
- You’ve done hard things before.
- You’re more capable than you think.
- And your future self will thank you for pushing through.
Because self doubt may always be there, but it doesn’t get the final say, you do.
What’s one area where self-doubt has been holding you back? Drop it in the comments, or share your story with someone today. Let’s start replacing doubt with belief, together.
With love,
Bri & Cat
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